We are a generation of inspo-addicts and wisdom junkies! We are thirsty for knowledge, deep insight, and spiritual rescue remedies. We are slowly becoming self aware and self empowered- and in our search for a better self and a better future, we sometimes forget that with power comes responsibility.
A topic very close to my heart is negative self esteem and body image- an issue of pandemic proportions. How do so many women end up with such drastically deficient self worth? Who glorified martyrdom, self loathing, suppression, submission, self denial and shame?
The answer is historically complex, however the spiritual truth is that women carry the wounds of the their mothers and their mothers and their mothers etc, - each time passing down an increasingly expansive and convincing file of proof in the cellular memory that it is not SAFE to love oneself, it is not safe to speak up, be authentic, be confident, shine bright, express your needs, stand your ground.
It's a fact that we are ALL a product of our conditioning and our parents are no different. For thousands of years, humanity has been procreating under the limited consciousness of the past generations without question or review ...so what do we expect?! Of course there will be big imprints to heal, to neutralise and dissolve. Of course every woman will need to be born into this world and be required to unlearn self hate and learn self love.
There are a plethora of compounded negative imprints embedded into the female anima psyche that are still playing havoc with our sense of personal power - holding us hostage to an illusion of low self worth, insecurity and powerlessness. It breaks my heart every time I hear a woman confess that she thinks she is not enough, unattractive, or hideous.
The wonderful news is that a revolution is stirring and many women are downloading and integrating new energetic codes which are upgrading their consciousness! Women in every corner of the globe are waking up and rejecting media madness, masculine dominance and mass manipulation. Many are taking advantage of their new found freedom, rights and knowledge and are stepping inwards to take stock of their limiting mentality - finally deciding to give the old program the flick.
Much of the soul coaching practices I prescribe to my female clients are centered on helping them 'unlearn' the eons of inherited negative conditioning, and empowering them to develop divine confidence. I remind them that they may have been encoded with loads of ancestral junk but they have also been encoded with a tremendous amount of power, light and strength.
I have an intimate knowledge of this inner battle and am therefore personally invested in shaking things up. It is a thread of my personal psyche that I have had to continually work on and transmute and reorganise. It is also a huge issue with a person who is close to me and for whom I feel deeply sad and terrified for. I see how entrapped she is in self destructive patterns and I feel totally helpless watching the relentless self-abuse.
I get it! It is without a doubt challenging to love yourself in a world that seemingly makes it impossible to do so. Whether it is family conditioning; negative relationship experiences; limiting societal, cultural or spiritual norms; media manipulation- it can be overwhelming and soul destroying to feel judged, rejected, controlled, suppressed or neglected. Not to mention, almost every industry is invested in keeping people in a fear based consciousness so that it can keep women insatiably consuming.
If we woke up knowing how freaking brilliant we already are, we would not buy half the stuff we do. Advertising, branding and marketing is all psychology. If you feel crap about who you are, then you will be vulnerable to buying the bull- and that goes for the personal development space too! Bottom line is, it may not be easy when you are bombarded with negative messages but we are a lot more switched on these days. We need to apply all we know about the way the world works to conquer the dirty demon of self hate.
So where am I going with all this? I want to help you realise how much power you have in your hands to not only instigate a massive renovation of the relationship you have with the little girl inside of you, but also awaken you to the fact that you have an obligation to influence the impressionable young women that are looking up to you.
Take a moment to think about what values you want to instill in your children, nieces, granddaughters etc. Think about what beliefs you want to pass down and which one's you are going to blow torch. You have a massive impact on all those you come into contact with - therefore you have a responsibility! Whether knowingly or unknowingly, you have the ability to influence the psyche of hundreds of women and young girls just by being mindful about how you hold yourself, respect yourself, talk about yourself.
This world is totally obsessed with what we see with our eyes. We focus way too much on the aesthetic appeal of everything. Likewise, we tend to comment way too much about how people appear...constantly drawing judgement. Might I remind you a complement is still a judgment.
Divine confidence is about cultivating self worth from the inside out rather than the outside in. We need to decide to love all parts of ourselves and focus more on our soul image than our body image. Intrinsic self worth is much more permanent than relying on the ever changing nature of our appearance after all.
It starts with us! It is essential now that women stop the abuse and finally take on the role of positive mentor for younger women. As mothers, aunts and sisters, grandmothers it is our collective responsibility to encourage a healthy lifestyle without it focusing on the body alone. We need to start talking about how people are feeling rather than looking, what is great about them as a person and soul.
More importantly, we need to apply this to our inner self. It is time you freeken love yourself and maintain a healthy dialogue with that gorgeous little girl inside of you. Stop bullying her and tearing her to shreds. Stop beating her up because of perceived flaws. Stop telling her she is not pretty enough, good enough, smart enough, brave enough. Just STOP the self abuse.
The conversations you have with yourself sets the standard of the conversations you have with others. The universe is screaming at women to have conscious conversations with our girlfriends, daughters, sisters and granddaughters - it is time to instigate a shift in paradigm! If we do not do this now, yet another generation will be swallowed up by the disease of disempowerment.
To help you get started, I have shared below some inspiring words that were originally written by Sarah Koppelkam. Her words apply to ourselves and all women:
How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one:
Don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “You’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are — you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say, “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
These words struck a nerve for me. Adopting this approach will not only alter the next gen, it will awaken in each of us the passion to come together in sisterhood and fiercely affirm our right to experience joy, freedom and confidence.
Together we can clear the toxic conditioning and activate ruthless self acceptance and love! Let's stop this spiritual disease from being recycled down the generational line. Let's make a conscious C H O I C E to exorcise the stronghold of INSECURITY for once and for all because no amount of great selfies, great lovers or great clothes will convince you that you're enough!
As I mentioned earlier, we are living in a time that personal and spiritual development is accessible at the click of a button, so there is no excuse to claim ignorance. I am passionate about guiding women to come together in tribal power to spark an inner revolution to boycott low self esteem and expose the industries that are built on the backs of our insecurities.
Let us now embrace the power of feminine consciousness and shake things up both in our inner and outer world. May the energy of these words fill your being and move you into taking inspired action. Show the little girl inside of you more compassion, unconditional love and total acceptance. As you nurture positive seeds in the sanctuary of your own heart and soul, so to will you sow positive seeds of love in the hearts and minds of all those you connect with.
Every act of self love sends a positive beam of light across the universe that invites other women to do the same.
Again I remind you, with knowledge comes power and with power comes responsibility. <3 Remind yourself and one another that the best thing we can do with our sacred body is use it to mobilise our beautiful soul.
E R Y K A . S T A N T O N Spiritual Teacher / Coach / Author book at www.empoweredliving.com.au